Forgiving Failure Facilitates Freedom
Forgiving Failure Facilitates Freedom
Forgiveness sounds noble and wise—until you’re the one holding the hurt. Everyone says forgiveness is for you, not the other person. I know that’s true. And yet, when you’ve been betrayed, abused, or abandoned, forgiving can feel like letting someone off the hook. Like their pain-free life is a reward for what they did to you.
I’ve lived that tug-of-war. I’ve clung to anger like armor, believing my resentment was the only way to make someone pay. But the truth? Forgiveness isn’t about freeing them—it’s about freeing you.
The harder part, though, isn’t forgiving others. It’s forgiving yourself.
Maybe it’s the shame of a relapse. Maybe it’s the night you said things you can’t unsay. Maybe it’s a choice so heavy you can’t even name it out loud. We punish ourselves with guilt, replaying mistakes like a broken record, convinced we deserve a life sentence of pain.
But here’s the reality:
You can’t undo the past.
You can’t rewrite the damage.
You can choose a different future.
Forgiving failure—especially your own—isn’t about erasing consequences. It’s about refusing to stay imprisoned by them. Self-forgiveness is the doorway to healing, to growth, to the freedom to try again.
“Forgiving Failure Facilitates Freedom” isn’t just a mantra. It’s a lifeline. When you forgive yourself, you loosen the chains of shame and step into the possibility of becoming someone new. That’s where freedom lives.
I wish for you healing and personal growth.
Please prioritize self-care and mindfulness.
All my love,
AbFabNerd
Authenticity
Confessions: Finding My Voice
Maybe I should start with a confession.
Because if you’ve battled addiction, you probably don’t want to hear another polished speech from a counselor who—at least in your mind—has a picture-perfect life. Someone who couldn’t possibly understand what it feels like to wake up every day with a body that’s begging for escape. I know that feeling. I’ve sat in the back of those rooms, arms crossed, silently screaming, “Shut the fck up.”*
I’ve been there.
I’ve done that.
When someone tries to talk to you about addiction, every muscle tightens. You don’t even want to talk to yourself about it, much less to a stranger who might write your words down and use them against you. It’s easier to stay silent, to keep the worst of it locked behind your teeth, because admitting the truth—out loud—feels like handing someone a weapon.
That’s why sharing my story matters.
Not in a TED Talk kind of way. The people I want to reach aren’t necessarily scrolling motivational videos; some are drunk, high, or simply surviving. They’re in court-mandated classes, sitting in clinic waiting rooms, riding buses, staring out of train windows. Those are the spaces where my words need to land.
My AbFabNerd alliterations were born for exactly that purpose—to slip small sparks of truth into everyday places. But to make them real, I have to be real. F-bombs and all. I can’t hide the messy parts of my journey just to stay marketable. Authenticity is the bridge that lets people know I actually get it.
The challenge is balance. Some folks will tune out the minute I swear or mention sex. Others will only listen because I refuse to sugarcoat anything. I’m inconsistent, sure—but so is healing. And if my story helps even one person feel seen, then every uncomfortable truth is worth it.
I wish for you healing and personal growth.
Please, always prioritize self-care and mindfulness.
All my love,
AbFabNerd
WHAT KIND OF COOKIES ARE YOU MAKING?
What kind of cookies—and life—are you making? This holiday season, join AbFabNerd as we bake our way into self-discovery! With humor and heart, our latest blog delves into the parallels between crafting delicious holiday cookies and designing a fulfilling life. From recipes and ingredients to tools and recipients, discover how each choice shapes the outcome. Whether you're stirring up holiday magic or setting intentions for the new year, this thoughtful read will inspire self-awareness and growth. Visit now to lead with love, embrace your power, and savor every moment of the season!