Authenticity

Maybe I should start off I think particularly for addressing fellow addicts, I should start off with a section called Confessions. Because having been an addict for so long, it's really hard to want to take advice from some fucking counselor that you imagine has absolutely no fucking idea of what you're going through. Someone who must go home to their beautiful house and their happy family and can't possibly relate to you. It is really hard to want to take advice from someone like that, or to even want to listen to them, for that matter. You'll be like, "Shut the f*ck up” and zone out.

I get that.

I have been there, done that.

And when someone wants to talk to you about your addiction, particularly, then you really shut down, because it's not something you want to talk to yourself about, much less some fucking stranger that might use your words against you later. That might document some of these terrible things you've done and somehow use that against you later.

You don't want to tell somebody those things.

You can barely say those things out loud to yourself.

You want to tell somebody else those things. Not only because you fear their judgment, but because you're afraid they'll use it against you later.

So I would like to, I need to find a way to express my story in a way that people feel compelled to listen. That people will trust that the things that I'm saying are real. They will trust that I might know what I'm talking about, where they might trust that I really do get them, and I really can help them.

I need to find a way to tell my story in a way that people that I want to reach the most will be willing to hear me. I don't think that the people that I want to reach the most, well, maybe some of them are, watching TED Talks. But I would say most of those people probably are not watching TED Talks. They are probably... drunk or otherwise incapacitated. Finding a way to reach those people needs to be a priority because a lot of those people that I do feel like I have an ability to help are not going to come looking for it. 

And I think that's why I think that putting these alliterations on a bus, on a train, putting up flyers, being in medical clinics, having public health facilities that are willing to display my alliterations. Those are places where these people can be found. Courthouse, mandated court classes. Those are the places where the people that I can help can be found. 

For a long time, I think I have felt like I could share what I have to offer without telling my story. And that's just not possible. It's just not possible. I need a forum where I can be authentically me, fucks and all, that I can express the things I want to express. But I want it all, because I want to be able to build a rapport with people from all walks of life. Because I do believe that my work, my alliterations, these lessons can help everyone in all aspects of life.

But I honestly believe that for a lot of people, they will shut down as soon as I say fuck. Or as soon as I talk about sex, or as soon as I make a statement that they do not agree with, they will tune me out. 

And I don't want them to tune me out, because there's so much good that I have to offer them.

There's so much good that I have to offer them.

And so I have been finding it very challenging to find a balance in how I market myself and how I market my company. Because I want to attract a crowd that is going to turn off another crowd. The things that I do to attract one crowd will turn off another crowd, and vice versa. This could be seen as very inconsistent. I'm an inconsistent person. That is part of who I am. But I think, still, that I need to be able to be very authentic about my journey and how I have come to where I am to offer people what I offer them.

I wish for you healing and personal growth.

Please Prioritize Self-Care and Mindfulness

ALL MY LOVE,

AbFabNerd