Hey, it's Renae AbFabNerd.
I've had a couple of experiences recently that I just wanted to speak on. I guess the first of which, let's start with the other day.
I was in the gas station and there was quite a long line. It wasn't super clear where the line was going and whatnot. As I was standing there, a man came and was standing behind me, kind of over to my left hand side behind me. A big guy, probably a long distance trucker. Anyway, he's standing there. Then a few moments later, another younger gentleman comes and stands behind me on my right hand side. So he kind of like cuts in line in front of this big trucker guy. I saw it happen. I knew exactly what that trucker was thinking.
“I don't matter. It doesn't matter that he cut. It's gonna be fine. I'm just gonna let him do it.”
As I was recalling those feelings that I know so very well because I have experienced them, I looked back at the younger gentleman over on my right hand side and I said, “this guy was in line before you.” Immediately, the trucker starts saying these excuses out loud.
“Well, oh, it doesn't really matter. Oh, you know, I'm not in a hurry.”
Making all of these excuses for allowing someone to treat him like shit, for allowing someone to cut in line because he does not feel worthy to speak up, speak his mind and stand up for himself. So then after this interaction, like, I heard what he was saying, and I kind of kept my mouth shut and just went about my business and left the store. But what I was wanting to say to him was “Nobody else is going to stand up for you. I shouldn't have to stand up for you. You should be standing up for yourself.”
Why do we get so accustomed to being treated like shit that we allow other people to disregard our feelings so that theirs can be the most important. Why do we care more about the feelings of other people than our own feelings, about ourselves? But I sympathize, I empathize with that trucker because there have been many times where I feel like, you know, something might happen and,
“Oh, it's okay. You know, it's okay. Go ahead. You go ahead. You're more important than I am. My needs aren't important. Go ahead. You go ahead.”
And you go through life like that and you wonder why we're so unhappy and filled with depression and anxiety because we are continually behind the scenes subconsciously, unconsciously, telling ourselves that we do not matter, that this stranger matters more than we do.
Stand up for yourself. May we all stand up for ourselves. Not out of, out of spite or anger or arrogance or none of that, none of those energies associated with ego in standing up for yourself, but just as a recognition that you are a human being and you deserve to take up space.
I think that's another issue that so many of us are condition to believe that we do not deserve to take up space in this world. So we shrink ourselves and we shrink ourselves, and we let people cut line in front of us. All the time, in many ways.
I'm sure there's an alliteration that I can find to add to this, but it just…
We matter.
Each of ourselves, we matter.
We belong.
We deserve to take up space.
Stand up for yourself.
May we continue to learn and grow.
All My Love,
AbFabNerd
