Renae Hines 10/8/25 Renae Hines 10/8/25

Addiction Recovery

Addiction recovery isn’t a straight line—it’s a series of awakenings.
For me, it began in a courtroom. Court-mandated classes. AA meetings. The boxes I had to check to prove that I was trying. I understand that AA saves lives and helps countless people find community and accountability. But it didn’t work for me.

I remember sitting in those meetings, still drinking every day, still numbing. I wasn’t ready to stop. The idea of a life without alcohol felt impossible. Who would I be at the pool? At a party? On a dance floor? Sobriety sounded like boredom—like losing my identity.

But the truth was, alcohol had already stolen my peace.

My turning point came through Dry January—a “temporary challenge” that turned into transformation. I didn’t quit drinking forever; I simply decided not to drink today. That mindset shift changed everything. My body adjusted first, then my mind, then my spirit. I realized I didn’t need alcohol to be fun, interesting, or alive.

Now, years later, I don’t drink because it doesn’t align with my top value: peace.
Recovery for me wasn’t about replacing one addiction with another—it was about reclaiming my power to choose.

If AA, therapy, community, or mindfulness helps you, embrace it. Recovery looks different for everyone. But I hope you find what I found: the strength to choose peace over punishment, and presence over numbness.

May we learn and grow.
Please prioritize self-care and mindfulness.

All my love,
AbFabNerd

Renae Hines 10/5/25 Renae Hines 10/5/25

Presently Prioritizing Peaceful Passage

Peace is my highest value. It hasn’t always been this way. For years I carried a simmering anger I couldn’t name—an inner dissatisfaction I tried to numb with distraction, addiction, and drama. I longed for peace but didn’t know how to claim it.

Then came a turning point. In 2020, during Dry January, I finally chose to stop numbing and start healing. I wanted mornings without regret, nights without apologies, and a life free from the endless cycle of self-punishment. Choosing peace wasn’t easy—but it changed everything.

Today, peace lives in my soul. It grows stronger every time I follow through on my promises, nourish my body and spirit, and practice the small daily deeds that keep me grounded. Nature, mindfulness, and forgiveness feed this quiet strength. I can’t undo the pain of the past, but I can forgive myself, do better, and keep choosing calm over chaos.

“Presently Prioritizing Peaceful Passage” is my mantra and my mission. It’s an invitation to cultivate a peace that passes all understanding—a peace that’s real, deep, and absolutely possible for you too.

I wish for you a soul-deep peace and personal growth.
Please prioritize self-care and mindfulness.

All my love,
AbFabNerd

Renae Hines 10/1/25 Renae Hines 10/1/25

Addiction Adores Absolute Adherence

Addiction wears many disguises. Some are obvious—drugs, alcohol, gambling. Others slip in quietly: shopping, scrolling, chasing likes, obsessing over perfection. The behaviors look different, but the root is the same: a desperate need to numb pain or distract from it.

Addiction adores absolute adherence.
It thrives on routine, demanding loyalty to the very habits that hurt you. The longer you obey, the worse you feel, and the more you reach for the thing that keeps you low. It’s a loop designed to keep you stuck.

Recovery can’t be forced by a court order, a partner’s ultimatum, or a scare tactic. True change begins when you decide you deserve better. No one can give you the belief that you are worthy of love, healing, and freedom—except you.

Maybe your addiction is easy to spot. Maybe it hides behind “healthy” habits: cleaning, dieting, constant productivity. If you feel disoriented when you can’t perform a ritual, if you cling to a behavior as if it defines you, that’s addiction’s quiet grip.

But here’s the truth:
You can break the loop.
You can change the rules.
You can choose to stop punishing yourself and start loving yourself instead.

Stay mindful of what controls you. Question what you feel compelled to obey. Healing begins when you see the pattern and believe you deserve to break it.

I wish for you healing and personal growth.
Please prioritize self-care and mindfulness.

All my love,
AbFabNerd

Renae Hines 9/29/25 Renae Hines 9/29/25

Forgiving Failure Facilitates Freedom

Forgiveness sounds noble and wise—until you’re the one holding the hurt. Everyone says forgiveness is for you, not the other person. I know that’s true. And yet, when you’ve been betrayed, abused, or abandoned, forgiving can feel like letting someone off the hook. Like their pain-free life is a reward for what they did to you.

I’ve lived that tug-of-war. I’ve clung to anger like armor, believing my resentment was the only way to make someone pay. But the truth? Forgiveness isn’t about freeing them—it’s about freeing you.

The harder part, though, isn’t forgiving others. It’s forgiving yourself.
Maybe it’s the shame of a relapse. Maybe it’s the night you said things you can’t unsay. Maybe it’s a choice so heavy you can’t even name it out loud. We punish ourselves with guilt, replaying mistakes like a broken record, convinced we deserve a life sentence of pain.

But here’s the reality:
You can’t undo the past.
You can’t rewrite the damage.
You can choose a different future.

Forgiving failure—especially your own—isn’t about erasing consequences. It’s about refusing to stay imprisoned by them. Self-forgiveness is the doorway to healing, to growth, to the freedom to try again.

“Forgiving Failure Facilitates Freedom” isn’t just a mantra. It’s a lifeline. When you forgive yourself, you loosen the chains of shame and step into the possibility of becoming someone new. That’s where freedom lives.

I wish for you healing and personal growth.
Please prioritize self-care and mindfulness.

All my love,
AbFabNerd

Renae Hines 9/27/25 Renae Hines 9/27/25

Authenticity

Confessions: Finding My Voice

Maybe I should start with a confession.
Because if you’ve battled addiction, you probably don’t want to hear another polished speech from a counselor who—at least in your mind—has a picture-perfect life. Someone who couldn’t possibly understand what it feels like to wake up every day with a body that’s begging for escape. I know that feeling. I’ve sat in the back of those rooms, arms crossed, silently screaming, “Shut the fck up.”*

I’ve been there.
I’ve done that.

When someone tries to talk to you about addiction, every muscle tightens. You don’t even want to talk to yourself about it, much less to a stranger who might write your words down and use them against you. It’s easier to stay silent, to keep the worst of it locked behind your teeth, because admitting the truth—out loud—feels like handing someone a weapon.

That’s why sharing my story matters.
Not in a TED Talk kind of way. The people I want to reach aren’t necessarily scrolling motivational videos; some are drunk, high, or simply surviving. They’re in court-mandated classes, sitting in clinic waiting rooms, riding buses, staring out of train windows. Those are the spaces where my words need to land.

My AbFabNerd alliterations were born for exactly that purpose—to slip small sparks of truth into everyday places. But to make them real, I have to be real. F-bombs and all. I can’t hide the messy parts of my journey just to stay marketable. Authenticity is the bridge that lets people know I actually get it.

The challenge is balance. Some folks will tune out the minute I swear or mention sex. Others will only listen because I refuse to sugarcoat anything. I’m inconsistent, sure—but so is healing. And if my story helps even one person feel seen, then every uncomfortable truth is worth it.

I wish for you healing and personal growth.
Please, always prioritize self-care and mindfulness.

All my love,
AbFabNerd

Renae Hines 12/23/24 Renae Hines 12/23/24

WHAT KIND OF COOKIES ARE YOU MAKING?

What kind of cookies—and life—are you making? This holiday season, join AbFabNerd as we bake our way into self-discovery! With humor and heart, our latest blog delves into the parallels between crafting delicious holiday cookies and designing a fulfilling life. From recipes and ingredients to tools and recipients, discover how each choice shapes the outcome. Whether you're stirring up holiday magic or setting intentions for the new year, this thoughtful read will inspire self-awareness and growth. Visit now to lead with love, embrace your power, and savor every moment of the season!