Renae Hines 10/26/25 Renae Hines 10/26/25

On Guilt And Shame Eclipse Season

On Guilt and Shame — Eclipse Season

This Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Virgo has been nothing short of transformational.
It’s a mirror showing me where I still hold guilt, where shame still whispers, and where I’m finally ready to let it all go.

During this eclipse season, I’ve been gifted countless opportunities to re-evaluate the choices I make and the energy I share. I’ve been reminded that I hold all the power in my body, my boundaries, and my becoming. For years, I let guilt and shame shape how I saw myself. Religion once taught me that being human meant being wrong. But I’m not wrong for being human. I’m divine for being aware.

This season has taught me that guilt isn’t guidance it’s a signal to pivot. Shame isn’t truth it’s residue from an outdated belief that I am unworthy. I can acknowledge the moments I’ve fallen short without punishing myself for being in progress.

I’m learning to alchemize these lessons.
To turn guilt into gratitude.
To transform shame into self-compassion.
To walk through the fire and rise as something stronger like a Phoenix, forged in grace.

The Universe keeps giving me opportunities to grow, to test my alignment, to remind me that peace is my highest value and self-love is my truest power.

I am grateful for every lesson.
Grateful for every mirror.
Grateful for this beautiful, messy, magnificent life.

May we learn and grow.
Please prioritize self-care and mindfulness.

All my love,
AbFabNerd

Addiction Rock Bottoms

People talk about rock bottom like it’s the moment everything changes…that one crushing event that finally forces you to get clean, face yourself, and rebuild.
But addiction doesn’t care about your rock bottom.

I learned that the hard way. I hit plenty of “bottoms”, shameful nights, waking up in strange places, hurting people I loved and none of them made me stop drinking. Each one just added more guilt, more self-hatred, more reasons to pour another drink.

The truth is, rock bottoms don’t save you. They bury you deeper.
Addiction feeds on shame. The lower you sink, the stronger its grip becomes.

I didn’t stop drinking because of some catastrophic event. I stopped because I was tired, tired of feeling awful in every possible way. What finally broke the cycle wasn’t tragedy; it was something embarrassingly simple: vanity. I was tired of feeling unhealthy, tired of the weight I carried, inside and out.

That decision to do Dry January cracked something open.
It wasn’t about willpower or punishment. It was about wanting peace more than I wanted oblivion.

Peace became my turning point.
Once I realized I preferred remembering my nights to regretting them, everything shifted. I stopped romanticizing the chaos and started falling in love with calm.

Addiction didn’t care about my rock bottoms. But I did.
And choosing peace, choosing myself is what finally brought me home.

I wish for you healing and personal growth.
Please prioritize self-care and mindfulness.

All my love,
AbFabNerd

Presently Prioritizing Peaceful Passage

Peace is my highest value. It hasn’t always been this way. For years I carried a simmering anger I couldn’t name—an inner dissatisfaction I tried to numb with distraction, addiction, and drama. I longed for peace but didn’t know how to claim it.

Then came a turning point. In 2020, during Dry January, I finally chose to stop numbing and start healing. I wanted mornings without regret, nights without apologies, and a life free from the endless cycle of self-punishment. Choosing peace wasn’t easy—but it changed everything.

Today, peace lives in my soul. It grows stronger every time I follow through on my promises, nourish my body and spirit, and practice the small daily deeds that keep me grounded. Nature, mindfulness, and forgiveness feed this quiet strength. I can’t undo the pain of the past, but I can forgive myself, do better, and keep choosing calm over chaos.

“Presently Prioritizing Peaceful Passage” is my mantra and my mission. It’s an invitation to cultivate a peace that passes all understanding—a peace that’s real, deep, and absolutely possible for you too.

I wish for you a soul-deep peace and personal growth.
Please prioritize self-care and mindfulness.

All my love,
AbFabNerd