Renae Hines 10/16/25 Renae Hines 10/16/25

Addiction Rock Bottoms

People talk about rock bottom like it’s the moment everything changes…that one crushing event that finally forces you to get clean, face yourself, and rebuild.
But addiction doesn’t care about your rock bottom.

I learned that the hard way. I hit plenty of “bottoms”, shameful nights, waking up in strange places, hurting people I loved and none of them made me stop drinking. Each one just added more guilt, more self-hatred, more reasons to pour another drink.

The truth is, rock bottoms don’t save you. They bury you deeper.
Addiction feeds on shame. The lower you sink, the stronger its grip becomes.

I didn’t stop drinking because of some catastrophic event. I stopped because I was tired, tired of feeling awful in every possible way. What finally broke the cycle wasn’t tragedy; it was something embarrassingly simple: vanity. I was tired of feeling unhealthy, tired of the weight I carried, inside and out.

That decision to do Dry January cracked something open.
It wasn’t about willpower or punishment. It was about wanting peace more than I wanted oblivion.

Peace became my turning point.
Once I realized I preferred remembering my nights to regretting them, everything shifted. I stopped romanticizing the chaos and started falling in love with calm.

Addiction didn’t care about my rock bottoms. But I did.
And choosing peace, choosing myself is what finally brought me home.

I wish for you healing and personal growth.
Please prioritize self-care and mindfulness.

All my love,
AbFabNerd

Renae Hines 10/1/25 Renae Hines 10/1/25

Addiction Adores Absolute Adherence

Addiction wears many disguises. Some are obvious—drugs, alcohol, gambling. Others slip in quietly: shopping, scrolling, chasing likes, obsessing over perfection. The behaviors look different, but the root is the same: a desperate need to numb pain or distract from it.

Addiction adores absolute adherence.
It thrives on routine, demanding loyalty to the very habits that hurt you. The longer you obey, the worse you feel, and the more you reach for the thing that keeps you low. It’s a loop designed to keep you stuck.

Recovery can’t be forced by a court order, a partner’s ultimatum, or a scare tactic. True change begins when you decide you deserve better. No one can give you the belief that you are worthy of love, healing, and freedom—except you.

Maybe your addiction is easy to spot. Maybe it hides behind “healthy” habits: cleaning, dieting, constant productivity. If you feel disoriented when you can’t perform a ritual, if you cling to a behavior as if it defines you, that’s addiction’s quiet grip.

But here’s the truth:
You can break the loop.
You can change the rules.
You can choose to stop punishing yourself and start loving yourself instead.

Stay mindful of what controls you. Question what you feel compelled to obey. Healing begins when you see the pattern and believe you deserve to break it.

I wish for you healing and personal growth.
Please prioritize self-care and mindfulness.

All my love,
AbFabNerd

Renae Hines 9/29/25 Renae Hines 9/29/25

Forgiving Failure Facilitates Freedom

Forgiveness sounds noble and wise—until you’re the one holding the hurt. Everyone says forgiveness is for you, not the other person. I know that’s true. And yet, when you’ve been betrayed, abused, or abandoned, forgiving can feel like letting someone off the hook. Like their pain-free life is a reward for what they did to you.

I’ve lived that tug-of-war. I’ve clung to anger like armor, believing my resentment was the only way to make someone pay. But the truth? Forgiveness isn’t about freeing them—it’s about freeing you.

The harder part, though, isn’t forgiving others. It’s forgiving yourself.
Maybe it’s the shame of a relapse. Maybe it’s the night you said things you can’t unsay. Maybe it’s a choice so heavy you can’t even name it out loud. We punish ourselves with guilt, replaying mistakes like a broken record, convinced we deserve a life sentence of pain.

But here’s the reality:
You can’t undo the past.
You can’t rewrite the damage.
You can choose a different future.

Forgiving failure—especially your own—isn’t about erasing consequences. It’s about refusing to stay imprisoned by them. Self-forgiveness is the doorway to healing, to growth, to the freedom to try again.

“Forgiving Failure Facilitates Freedom” isn’t just a mantra. It’s a lifeline. When you forgive yourself, you loosen the chains of shame and step into the possibility of becoming someone new. That’s where freedom lives.

I wish for you healing and personal growth.
Please prioritize self-care and mindfulness.

All my love,
AbFabNerd

Renae Hines 12/23/24 Renae Hines 12/23/24

WHAT KIND OF COOKIES ARE YOU MAKING?

What kind of cookies—and life—are you making? This holiday season, join AbFabNerd as we bake our way into self-discovery! With humor and heart, our latest blog delves into the parallels between crafting delicious holiday cookies and designing a fulfilling life. From recipes and ingredients to tools and recipients, discover how each choice shapes the outcome. Whether you're stirring up holiday magic or setting intentions for the new year, this thoughtful read will inspire self-awareness and growth. Visit now to lead with love, embrace your power, and savor every moment of the season!